I threw your keys in the water, I looked back, Theyd frozen halfway down in the ice. They froze up so quickly, the keys and their owners, Even after the anger, it all turned silent, and Then everyday turned solitary, So we came to February. First we forgot where wed planted those bulbs last year, Then we forgot that wed planted at all, Then we forgot what plants are altogether, and I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting and the nights were long and cold and scary, can we live through February? You know I think Christmas was a long red glare, Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards, And then the snow, And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling, And wed drop to sleep exhausted, Then wed wake up, and its snowing. And February was so long that it lasted into March And found us walking a path alone together. You stopped and pointed and you said, "Thats a crocus," And I said, "Whats a crocus?" and you said, "Its a flower," I tried to remember, but I said, "Whats a flower?" You said, "I still love you." The leaves were turning as we drove to the hardware store, My new lover made me keys to the house, And when we got home, well we just started chopping wood, Because you never know how next year will be, And well gather all our arms can carry, I have lost to February.
 
~Dar Williams

and i said that i know who i am. and laughed, self conciously i said people may think im crazy but i know im ok. and i said people arent autists.. i dont take that back, theyre not, theyre just... silly, naive, selfish and if we knew exactly how each of our butterfly kisses caused every tornado we wouldnt have a single nights sleep. i think. but these arent butterfly kisses. theyre so much more.

woke up curled up on the floor, comfortable between a blanket and a bedsheet except that the blanket was under me, and the bedsheet over my head. soft whispers of female voices talking nearby. the room bright with streaming sunlight, cool with the humming AC. fluffy pink green yellow blue huddles all around, breathing softly. groped around for the cell... 9:25am. sighed happily, pulled the sheet back over my head and went back to sleep.

took me back... all the way to autumn quarter, when all of us used to troop up to the common room to sleep. somewhere in the back of my head, before i left khi for college, i was afraid that i'd have trouble sleeping in a new place for the first few days, because i usually do. never had trouble sleeping here... always tired, always comfortable between good ol' blanket and bedsheet.

hahahahaha.... fresshhiieee :)

as we were talking outside it was cold we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter my wife is in the next room
we've been having troubles you know
please don't tell her or anyone but i need to talk to somebody

you said "wouldn't it be a shame if i knew how great i was five minutes before i died i'd be filled with such regret before i took my last breath" and i said "you're willing to tell me this now and
you're not going to die anytime soon"
and i said i haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything and you said yes
but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said we're at the top of the food chain and yes you're still a fine woman and i cringed

i was hoping we could heal each other
i was hoping we could be raw together

we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said "good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you're successful and established sir and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir and your money"
and when i walked by they said "thank you too dear" i was all pigtails and cords and there was a day when i would've said something like "hey dude i could buy and sell this place so kiss it"
i too once though i was owed something

i was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other
i was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up

i too thought that when proved wrong i lost somehow
i too once thought life was cruel
it's a cycle really you think i'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you i think you're insensitive
and i don't feel heard and i said do you believe we are
fundamentally judgmental? fundamentally evil?
and you said yes i said i don't believe in revenge in right or wrong good or bad you said
"well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and she threw a shoe at his head. i think what he did was wrong and i would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him"
i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged

i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together