smokerings

leave my mind alone for an instant and she'll die. shes getting old, it seems... old, tired, stupid. like an old dog. like an old dog no one wants to play with anymore. shes losing her instinct, she losing her ability to taste, smell, feel, touch... numb, awful, cold, numbess that wont leave. hell froze over. i stand at the top of the stairwell, stare down at the plastic chips packets on the sofas three stories below and the people in blue and red shirts running up and down, up and down, circling the image of those sofas, those chip packets below me and i stick my toe out. pretty toe. scuffy sneaker, leather and lace. looks nice against the image of the sofas down below, framed by a rising stairwell. take a picture. take a picture like you would of the the ray of light that resembled a falling meteorite, on the bathroom door. plummeting, two dimensional streak of glowing yellow heat. when i go home, will those words still be etched into my door? to this day, i dont know who wrote them. the only person i can think of is my mother... and why, why would she take a permenant marker, go into my bathroom and write behind my door "What Really Counts" ? what are you saying? "what really counts"- is it a question? is it an incomplete statement? how could you leave it hanging there, black on those ugly concrete tiles that id give anything, now, to rest my head against? how could you leave me here, with silence ringing in my ears, with the howling emptiness in my brain thrashing like a fish poisoned with oxygen...here, staring through blurry weak eyes at a couple of red chip packets on a couple on green sofas placed right of the centre of my vision, my toe occupying the bottom left quadrant of the frame, my freezing white knuckles placed dead centre as i think... falling.... is almost like flying isnt it? and i think if you place yourself strategically enough, you'll land on the sofa, right? no reason to get depressed, or excited. the last thing i want to do before i die is jump off a cliff, and see if i can miss the ground. :P